How to avoid being dethroned by your child

I’d like to think of myself as the Queen of my castle…

Sitting on my throne; well in charge, super organised, and always in control. Not to mention immaculately dressed with make-up that would make the Kardashian sisters turn their heads. Something a little like this I guess…


Perhaps there was a time when that was indeed the case… But these days I suspect there is an attempted coup taking place right under my nose…  The signs are small yet disturbingly noticeable. As I look over my kingdom I get the suspicious feeling that there is a stealthy little creature trying to overrule me! There are days like today when I feel like I am loosing control over the minions that are meant to obey me and follow my rule…

One in particular.


She is a fiery one. Strong-willed, and independent. She knows exactly what she wants, and how to get it! She laughs without fear of the world. She questions, and demands answers. And she never takes NO for an answer… And I mean never!  Well, not from me anyway!


My kingdom is under threat by the ultimate Trojan horse; an insider with all the guile and strength-of-will of a warrior princess. So, how do I prevent being dethroned by said warrior princess?

I’ve had to think long and hard about this… And here is my strategy:

  1. Stand my ground and claim my territory.
  2. Never back down – no matter how exhausted I am.
  3. Always, and I mean always, look the pretender to my throne square in the eye.
  4. Place myself at eye level – speak slowly, calmly, and with a careful choice of words.
  5. Never show any signs of weakness – OK, I’m still learning how to master that one.
  6. Whatever I am feeling always TRY to remain calm.
  7. Keep my voice as low key and authoritative as possible.
  8. Leave the scene of the crime – walk away!
  9. Create a diversion.
  10. Realize that smoothing over the territory leads to an alliance – and alliances are imperative to ruling your own kingdom well.

Most importantly, weather the storm. It may be one heck of a storm, but it will pass.

However, while this coup will never actually take place (I simply won’t let it), I am more than willing to admit that this pretender to my throne may every now and again win a battle over me… never the war, but sometimes a battle… When that happens, in a moment of self-reflection, I might just be a smidgen proud. She is strong! She is courageous! She is determined! And after all, she must have gotten it from somewhere.


There are few forces of nature that are as inspiring as a strong woman. I’ll never want to dim her fiery spirit. So instead of fighting, I’ll learn how to nurture and refine it. At the end of the day, no matter how strong and independent she becomes, she will always be my baby.


Parenty logo 2Jacqui Bester is firstly a wife, and mom to five rambunctious children who drive her nuts and fill her heart with unspeakable joy all in the space of a single day. She writes about her day to day adventures and misadventures in parenting, life and marriage. Jacqui is known for sharing a brutally honest account of her MESSY “mamahood”… the joy, the fun, the laughter and the tears. She enjoys a good mystery-crime novel with a lovely glass of red wine, trying out new foods and restaurants with her hubby on the odd date-night, exploring new places, learning new skills, and generally anything else that calls for a more adventurous approach to life. You can find her over on One Messy Mama.

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