The title of this post is quite deceiving. This, in no way, insinuates that I regret having a child. It has actually been one of my biggest blessings. I have, though, acknowledged that parenting rocks your world.
The person and the lifestyle you had before you were a mother or a father is nowhere near the person you are now. And it does not necessarily mean that you have changed, but your priorities sure have. You know how moms walk into Woolies to buy sexy lingerie but get a cute baby outfit instead? This does not mean you don’t take care of yourself anymore, you just have different priorities now.
I was out with some friend’s this past weekend and it got me thinking about how much I had to adjust to the new reality of parenting. I missed it. Being out there, having some carefree fun and not having to worry about someone else, let alone a baby.
I then thought of all the things I wish I could have done before I became a mother.
1 Slept in more
You know the cliché that every expecting mother gets at baby showers about sleep? Well, it might be cliché but it is very true. One should get a lot of sleep in before baby arrives because things will never be the same. I totally miss sleeping in on a Saturday. Getting out of bed to make breakfast and getting back into bed and cuddling up with a book or a laptop to watch my favorite series. I did a lot of this, but just not enough.
Now, sleeping in means waking up at 7:30 AM to prepare breakfast and a bottle, then putting on some cartoons and running after a hyperactive toddler for a couple of hours. This is until they tire out, and you do it all over again after the nap.
2 Travel more
The world is such a big place, and I honestly feel like I have not seen enough of it. I have often heard people saying that they want to travel first before they settle down and have children. This is not such a bad idea. And this does not mean that you cannot travel after you have a child. For me, my child is my world and I always want to ensure that she has all that she needs. This is why it is easier to go out and purchase things for her, even after saving some money for other things. So even if I save a bit of money for a trip, I would probably be consumed with some mom guilt because I would always feel like there is something she is still lacking.
The traveling still needs to happen though.
3 Enjoy alone time in the bathroom
We take a lot of things for granted, and quality time is one of them. Now I have someone banging at the door when I am in there or walking right in to sit on my lap. This was cute at first, but now all I yearn for is some privacy.
I also miss having a long, hot bath without having someone trying to jump in with me. Or taking a shower for more than 2 minutes, if at all. The first few days of a child’s life are the most challenging, and showering is a privilege. Its either you cannot shower at all, or you are required to get out before you finish. It gets better as they grow though. I hope.
4 Appreciated my body more
Ah yes, how my body has changed. Of course, it has, I carried and birthed a human being. After 20 months of breastfeeding my boobs have gone south, and the stretch marks on my body refuse to go anywhere. My now body looks nothing like my then body, and I used to not like my then body. When I think about it, I used to have a perfect little body and I should have loved it more before all the changes.
5 Have more time with my partner
Kids take their toll on relationships. We are basically permanently adding another human being into the relationship, so things are bound to get rocky while we adjust. This also means that we still need to learn about this human, and that requires time. This, however, takes away the time that we would take for each other. We, therefore, can’t sit and cuddle as much as we used to, or go on dates nights as often as we should.
Karabo Motsiri is a first-time mom, over-sharer, lover of life, chronic napper and married to her best friend. She loves a good party because the dance floor is her happy place. She enjoys good food, good conversations, laughs a little too hard, and cries during every episode of Grey’s Anatomy. She started her blogging journey because she wanted to share all the ups and downs of being a young modern mama in South Africa. Her blog Black Mom Chronicles has been featured on Ayana Magazine & SA Mom Blog. She has enjoyed airtime on Power FM and frequently writes for the parenting section of Saturday Citizen She also works with MamaMagic on their Product Awards, Milestones Magazine, Heart to Heart blog, and the Baby Expo, which is South Africa’s biggest parenting expo.