How to cope with Christmas blues

Do you dread the Christmas family tradition, the obligations and the expectations from family? Often, the biggest source of holiday stress is family.

Hollywood stories create unrealistic expectations of the ideal family, which makes people resentful or heightens the tension or conflict between family members if their families don’t match up.

The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) advises that you identify the specific things that get you down over the festive season and deal with them directly.

Often, if you associate the holidays with a bad time in your life like the loss of a loved one or a previous depression, the time of year will naturally bring all the memories back.

Johannesburg-based psychologist Christo van der Westhuizen said, “Keeping things bottled up is a very bad idea and can make matters so much worse.”

For others, the fact that nothing much has changed in their lives since last year is the saddening part of the festive season. Perhaps it’s a member of your family who irritates you.

Balancing the demands of shopping, gift-wrapping, family obligations, visitors and financial expenses may leave you feeling overwhelmed and stressed. You may also experience stress symptoms like headaches, you may drink excessively, over-eat or develop insomnia. Sadag advises that you do not ignore these symptoms or signs of depression and stress, but rather call them to talk through the matters.

Sadag recommends the following tips to find your holiday spirit:

• Lean on your support system. If you feel depressed, turn to a close friend or family member and talk to them about your troubles
• Ask for help and be specific. Ask your sister to help you cook or invite a friend along on your shopping trips. People are often happy to help if you tell them what you need
• Don’t stay longer than you want to. Going to a party does not obligate you to stay to the bitter end, instead just drop by for a few minutes and explain that you have other engagements. Knowing that you have a plan to leave can often ease your anxiety
• Forget about the perfect gift
• Stick to a budget. Draw up a budget before shopping and stick to it
• Stay on schedule. Try and stick to your normal routine as much as possible during the holidays. Don’t stay out too late or pull an all-nighter wrapping presents. Disrupting your schedule can often mean you lose out on sleep and can make your mood deteriorate
• Don’t rely on substances. Remember that alcohol is a depressant and abusing it will leave you feeling worse. Be particularly careful if you are taking medication
• If you take medication, don’t miss doses.

Sadag has counsellors on duty seven days a week from 8am to 8pm during Christmas, Boxing Day and New Year’s Day. You can call them on 011 262 6396 or give them a ring on their toll-free suicide line 080 012 1314.